When we envisioned parenting, many of us saw frolicking in a field with a bouncy toddler, giggling over ice cream and lounging in a hammock as the sun softly glows behind us (just me?)✨
And so, when reality hits, and our kids don't listen to us or they spend the majority of their days saying, "NO!" Well, it's HARD. 💯
And? We also feel this responsibility to raise "good" kids. We don't want them to hit, shout or be rude. So we end up spending most of our days alternating between "disciplining" and shouting "no! stop!"
But could we strike a balance? Could we make our kids feel seen, heard, & important, while teaching those big life skills in a CONSTRUCTIVE, loving way?
We can. We will. We must.
This is important to remember: The feeling is always ok - sometimes, the behavior is not. We've probably all heard of "unconditional love," but what's it ACTUALLY mean? That your love isn't an if-then thing. ie, I'll love you... IF you listen to me, IF you don't hit your sister, IF you don't feel angry or sad.
💛Show them you love them - no matter what
💛Let them know you'll always be on their team - no matter how much they mess up
💛Remember that "teaching" doesn't mean "punishing" - they're new to this whole life thing
💛Show them that you'll never leave them - no matter how much they've acted out
💛Apologize when you mess up - even if it's hard
And then, if the situation warrants it (e.g. there's kicking, hitting, etc.) you can coach and connect at a later time, when everyone is calm:
“You had a tough moment earlier today. It’s ok to feel mad, it’s not ok to hit.