I think 11 months has hit me harder than any month.
Because time really did fly.
Because that means we’re 1 month away from 1.
Because you look like a toddler and less of a baby every day.
Because you’ve outlived your time in the womb and our 4th trimester cocoon.
Because every day you need me less than you did the day before and I now understand the true meaning of bittersweet.
Because the beginning of a new development is the end of a previous milestone.
Because now you can crawl where you want. Stand on your own. Walk with your own two feet. Go up and down the stairs. Hold, open, pick up, throw things. Figure out challenging toys and tasks.
Your free will is growing each day. You are exploring choice like the little warrior I knew you’d be. The dependence on me is depleting. And it only took 11 months?
Today I think you knew I was feeling it. You nuzzled me, demanded a contact nap and then, you paused nursing to give me a very intentional kiss. I sobbed. Even our nursing journey will end before I know it. So I hold you a little closer and remind myself:
No matter how independent you are, that will never change our bond. You may not need me in the same ways, but I’ll always show up for however you need me. You may not be the little 6lb 12 oz 21 inch newborn cooing in my arms - but you will always be my baby. And my arms will always be big enough to hold you.