My son Andrew was born June of 2012 with a severe case of cleft lip and palate. I didn't learn about Andrew's cleft during my pregnancy, and after his birth, I had a lot to absorb and learn very quickly. Even though at first we were devastated and scared, my husband and I immediately embraced the challenges we knew we faced, and we were just as proud of our new son as if he had been born without a birth defect. We knew that God had given Andrew to us for a reason, and we spent the first few months of Andrew's life educating ourselves about his condition and things we could do to make Andrew's life as normal as possible. Although there were things we had to do differently, we tried very hard to treat Andrew as though there was nothing different about him. Before his first corrective surgery, we proudly showed him off, took pictures of him, and sent him to daycare as though there was nothing different about him. We focused on educating everyone we came in contact with, rather than sheltering him at home.
When Andrew began school, sometimes the other children would tease him. As much as it broke my heart when he was bullied, we explained that everyone gets made fun of and that we all have insecurities. We asked our family and close friends to share their own experiences and insecurities, and encouraged Andrew to address his differences. When he was the star of the week in school, he would take in pictures from infancy and educate his classmates and teachers about his condition. Before each surgery, I would join him at school to talk about the surgery in front of his class. As a result, the other children became supportive and protective of Andrew, rather than teasing him, once they knew more about what he was going through.
Today, Andrew has had five reconstructive surgeries, five sets of ear tubes, and has many more surgeries to come. I admire Andrew for his determination, confidence, and his caring and outgoing personality. He has learned to define his disability, not let it define him, and to use it to help others by telling his story.